I often get emails about what a person might need to navigate the pages of The Story Compass. Ok. That’s a lie. I’ve never been emailed anything of the sort. But I wish someone would, so I can share, so I’m going to pretend someone did. It’s fun giving your opinion sometimes. Right, so when I think about it, there are several items that come immediately to mind. The first thing you are going to need is a pen and paper. I’ll tell you why. There are puzzles on some of these pages and no matter how clever you are, it’s nice to have a bit of paper and a pen on hand to scribble things, even if it’s just your daily mantra: “I’m so clever.”

The next thing you are going to want is a handkerchief. I don’t know about you, but I was incredibly traumatized when that dwarf just ripped the inside of his pocket off his pants or jacket, and then flung it, without any care, into Bilbo’s face. I think we can all agree that we have some post-traumatic handkerchief concerns and that sometimes we wake up from nightmares about it. If you suffer from this, like me, it’s OK. This is a safe space. We are free here, but more importantly, we carry handkerchiefs.

Speaking of safe space, that leads me to the next item, which is a S.N.O.T. A S.N.O.T., or a Snot as it is fondly referred to, is a Small Nugget Of Tranquility, usually the shape in a small pug that one can carry in one’s pocket. That way, when anything dangerous is about to happen, we can simply place our hand in our pocket and squeeze our Snot. Or we can stroke it. Be careful; some Snot is known to bite, but due to their size, it’s more of a nibble. Because Snots are usually small and squishy, I have found that ordering human-sized hats on Temu is perfect for them, because, as we all know, hats on Temu are the size of thimbles. Perfect for your Snot.

Then, no adventure is complete without some type of food. Rammi’s Recipe of the day in a can is great for whipping out. Try to get the ones with the pull tab. A can with a soldered-on lid is difficult to open when you are out in the wild. And a can opener can be a weighty add-on in your bag, especially if it’s one of those electronic ones, with a plug. The last thing anyone wants to do is carry a 100KM extension cord to power your electric tin opener, only for Steven, who stayed at home, to unplug it so that he could power his 7-shaped animal electric waffle maker. Flavours of Rammi’s Recipe include: Barely Bean and Corn WhoDog.

Maude’s Story Bingo Cards are also a great hit for passing the time in between adventures. She has a number of items on her cards, such as balls of wool, Toshi’s, rare birds, and other collectable items that might be spotted along your journey. On that note, we should also mention that Ziggy has put together a reading list of some of the books he has published, including: Pigeon Watching Till You Coo-Coo and the best-seller Squirrels or Walking Feather Dusters: Your Choice.

Left socks. I hardly think this one needs explaining.

Then, last but not least, you need to carry an arrow. All adventurers need to carry them. Not for protection, or for shooting lunch, but because it is widely known that when an adventurer is finished, he has to put an arrow in his knee and return back to the guard. Obviously.

Oh, and don’t forget you’ll also need to pack that other thing. You know that thing.

Ready to go?